What difference does it make?

I think it's safe to say that most of us have posed this mostly rhetorical question a time or five. Let me get right to the toe-stepping: if you've made this statement-YOU are an asshole.

I'm not judging you, I'm not labeling you-all I'm saying is that the moment you made that statement to whomever you made it to, in that same moment you reached asshole status. You can quit reading now, or we can discuss.

Usually, if you have to pose this question-it's too late to make the difference, but you're asking someone to accept something outside of what is acceptable and "what difference does it make" actually means "Just deal with it!" Guess you're wondering what type of scenarios I'm speaking of? Or maybe you're trying to decide if there's a scenario that I'm NOT speaking of.

I hear parents saying this a lot of times about things pertaining to their children. "What difference does it make if I buy X label or Y label for your school supplies?" Well in this instance, probably not much as far as performance goes but you're teaching your children to question authority, to ask questions when given instruction, and to assume they know what's best when a suggestion has been given. See what I'm saying?

I heard somebody say "What difference does it make if I pay him back today or in a month?". Well obviously he isn't getting his money today, but the difference is that that person didn't have to let you borrow any money at all. The difference is whatever you needed that money for, you got it and you took it for selfish reasons and now you want to be upset that they expect you to honor YOUR word when they did what YOU asked? The difference is the next time you need some money, I hope you have more friends because you're going to be without whatever it is that you got.

Many a time I've heard a woman griping about that man that she's been with forever and he wants to know "What's the difference if we're married or not?" How about being able to show someone before God that you are committed? I understand that a piece of paper shouldn't change a relationship but sometimes it does. I've been the friend for more than one of my friends to whom I've had to share that the person they ARE is certainly not the person they were before marriage. And if you get stuck in this situation, you didn't do enough research on that person to make sure you know who he/she is through and through. A piece of paper doesn't solidify your commitment, but it sure makes you responsible for what happens if you don't RESPECT it. Chances are if you have a man or woman asking what's the difference, the difference is they don't want to be married because they aren't acting like a person who WANTS to be married SHOULD. Chances are that your biggest problem probably isn't commitment, it's probably fidelity and trust.

How about the man/woman carrying on a relationship with someone while BEING married. "What's the difference if I'm married or not, I'm here with you". The difference is the man/woman you're with doesn't get any benefit that you bring to the married table. The difference is that everything that other man/woman does for you is in fact beneficiary to YOUR spouse. The difference is that your spouse is entitled to everything you have and the only thing your OTHER is entitled to is hurt feelings and a letter from you stating how many community service hours they gave you because what they did for you, no matter how much or how little, was for FREE. If anything they did for you was to benefit you, they also did it to benefit you and YOUR family that they are not a part of. The difference is that if you want to be married, you should be married and they should be looking at you and realizing you aren't spouse material ANYWAY. The difference is that the person you are with is part of YOUR wrongdoing and is that someone suitable to be with anyway? Is that someone whose judgment you should trust? Is it someone you're going to always run over because they allowed you to deem them as #2 to your #1? And if you are the guilty party-have you somehow convinced yourself that this is different? I'd go ahead and substitute "different" for "stupid". True enough, you can't help who you love. But you can help HOW you love WHO you love.

How about when we ask ourselves "WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?". If you are asking yourself that question, you are second guessing yourself...and if YOU can't stand up to YOU, chances are you get asked this question often and it is rhetorical because the other person knows the answer. NONE. When you have to ask yourself this, you are now asking yourself to settle for a circumstance you had previously deemed unsatisfactory. If you have to ask yourself this, you've moved off the asshole platform straight into Stupid county, located in Settling City. All locations you will find blogs about right here to the right -------->.

Is the question "what difference does it make?" or is the question "what difference do YOU make?"

If the answer is NONE, then you are in the wrong place, at the wrong moment...

at the RIGHT TIME.

What difference do I make? A big difference. So much so that after most have existed in my world, they don't want to exist anywhere else.

What difference do they make?

Some.
None.
All.


I'm still learning. The biggest difference is me.

I'm not who I used to be.
I don't know what I'm going to be.
But I know how to just be.

What's the difference?