Dear Ex-Boyfriend(s)...

Dear Ex-Boyfriend(s),

I know you're probably surprised to hear from me. You might have been expecting a giant outburst, hate mail, or something similar-but I'd really like to take this opportunity to Thank You.

Yes, THANK YOU.

As I've taken time to really think back over the time we spent, I really felt compelled to take a moment to let you know that you helped me more than you know. Of course you made me stronger, but let me also add to that wiser. And, after your exit, I realized I am not as crazy as you would have liked me to believe. I am, and have always been, the woman you needed but did not deserve.

First-I'd like to thank you for affirming that my gut instincts and my sixth sense are as keen as I believed. Nevermind the fact that you always stood right in my face and lied-I'll get to that later. Whatever made me check your phone, or your e-mail, or your pockets-that was not because I am jealous, or crazy, or insecure-it's because YOU are not as slick as you think. I can't explain to you the feeling that I got or where it came from. I can just tell you that all things that happen in the darkness will come to the light. I can tell you that God has a way of making you see something you are just not ready to see no matter how painful it is. So Thank you for showing me that my gut instincts are right on target, and the only enemy of my sixth sense is you.

Thank you also for showing me that I am very capable of forgiveness. After all, I forgave you over and over again when in hindsight I don't think you deserved it even once. But let's not rehash old pain. I forgave you and we moved on. Now whether or not I kept bringing up your actions, I still forgave you. I showed myself that I do have the power to forgive. And if I had the strength and patience to forgive you, surely I could do wonders for somebody that actually deserves and will capitolize on a second chance.

I'd like to thank you for all of your false accusations. I might not have ever had the chance to know what it feels like when you accuse somebody for something that they honestly did not do. I might not have known how old it gets to be interrogated for things that happened in your imagination and not in real life. I might not have been able to relate to how old it gets when someone's insecurity shines brighter than any other thing they have to offer. I'm thanking you for this because now I know to just ask a simple question if I have doubts. And if I doubt the answer-I can simply walk away. So this goes hand in hand with the gut instincts you have shown me that I should always trust. Thank you for showing me how ugly insecurity can be and showing me how obvious a guilty conscience is.

Thank you for cheating on me. There is no way I would have ever known that you didn't deserve me had you not just blatantly disrespected me. I know that over and over again I asked what these girls had that I didn't, what you wanted from them that you couldn't get from me, and why you had to go to someone else when you had me. Now I know that this is an impossible question, because no answer you ever would have given could satisfy my heart. There is nothing that these girls had that I didn't-they just had your time and attention for the moment you were with them. They just made you feel like you were "the man" in a moment when you needed more attention because YOU felt like you weren't enough for me. Although your actions were kind of backwards, I thank you-because you were NOT, after all, enough for me. I realize that you wanted to be NEEDED. You just didn't understand my sentiment that NEEDING somebody is a very unhealthy emotion-but WANTING somebody is more powerful. You thought those girls needed you, and then when they didn't WANT you because you only showed them how untrustworthy and how unfaithful you-maybe THEN you realized my point.

Thank you for lying to me. We've already discussed the gut instincts and the sixth sense. And I'm sure the lying came in somewhere with the cheating or the false accusations. You showed me how ugly it is when a lie falls out of someone's mouth. You showed me that lying to someone is basically like standing in somebody's face and saying "I don't love you. I don't respect you. I think you are stupid". And I may have been-but I thank you for giving me the opportunity to realize that stupid is as stupid does, and I would NOT participate with you.

Thank you for hurting me. Had you never hurt me, I might not know how to heal. But because of your deception, or lies, or adulterous ways, or childish ways-whatever it may have been-that hurt allowed me to grow and be bigger than even I knew I could be. I might have been down for a period of time, but being down showed me that I had to get up. And when I got up, I got up WITH the hurt that you gave to me but then I got over it and let that hurt elevate me to a new level. I wouldn't be here looking down on you now had I not been able to get up over it.

Thank you for allowing me to love you. I know somewhere in your mind you may believe that this sentiment still exists. Love can be everlasting, but in our case-it will not last forever. I thank you for this opportunity because whatever I gave you unselfishly, however I loved you-that will always be what I gave to you from the most pure place in my heart. I showed myself that I can love without circumstance and I can keep loving with no barriers. You see, the importance in this is that I didn't lose any love in you. Loving somebody is the greatest thing we can do-and just because you didn't appreciate it doesn't mean that my love didn't mean anything, it didn't lose any power. So, I am elated at the idea that if I could have loved you, imagine the limits that I could surpass in loving somebody who WANTS me to love them the way that I WANT them to love me!!

You have given me so many things-I thought you deserved a Thank you note. Lastly, thank you for the timely exit in my life. It was probably a combination of all these things that led me to leave you or to accept the fact that you left me. Everything that I gave you-I'm proud of that and so very excited to give these things to someone who deserves them and watch them breed and grow.

I always say that the worst thing you can ever do is stop believing that someone can change. So while I thank you for these things that you gave me, I don't hold you accountable for them forever. You can move on too...just not with me. I hope that my unwillingness to talk to you or friend you does not offend you. It's just that if you weren't good for me then, I'm not quite sure how you can be good for me now. And you should want better for yourself than a friend who doubts who you are and what you have to offer. I take responsibility for all the things that I may have done that added to our relationship going sour. I have forgiven myself, and I forgive you.

So-I hope that this Thank You finds you well. I hope that you understand that there is no underlying evil or maliciousness in this letter to you. You helped me find a part of me that I might not have been able to find, but I assure you that if you could not handle me then-don't even try to deal with me now. You can go on. I hope that you find a woman that is everything you WANT and I wish you all the best. I can't look back because I'm moving onward and upward so fast I might miss something that awaits me that is AHEAD of me, that is FOR me. I hope you are thankful for the time you had the opportunity to be in my life. I am thankful for the lessons I learned, but I see no need to repeat past lessons when I have graduated to a new level.

So, thank you.

Good-bye...Forever.