Dear ________,

Sometimes, it's not even worth it to expend the energy on someone to tell them how you really feel. But what better place to do it than here. Understand, there are not really any hard feelings or pent up frustrations-it just came to me in a moment when someone I don't give two pieces of a care about was trying to justify their actions on something I don't even care about anymore.

So to all my "blanks"...you don't even deserve name recognition-but hey-you get a shout out in my blog anyway!

Dear ____,
You are an asshole. When you get lonely in the desert, find a friend that cares only about what you look like and nothing of how you actually feel. When you get lonely in real life and realize that there was somebody willing to put your needs first-just hang my picture up. That's all the access you will ever have to me again.

Thanks for your timely exit.
Happy Travels.

Dear ____,
It amuses me to no end that I know you are walking around on this planet thinking that you ruined my life, and/or that I am torn to pieces. I'd like to happily report that your pitiful existence was the best spot removal process I have ever performed on my life. I hope the ratings go up in the soap opera life you live. If nothing else, at least the soundtrack will be great.

Thanks for the big crescendo at the end.
CUT!


Dear ____,
If all the things you ever said were true, I believe I would probably shit gumballs and drink from the strawberry soda fountains floating in the air. I'm sorry I ever led you to believe I actually did believe your bull. It wasn't nice of me, and for that I apologize. In nine years, hopefully I will get to forget that you breathe-but until then, I'll keep it kosher. Take care.

In your free time, maybe you could figure out a way to be a full time person and only a part-time failure.
TOUCHDOWN!


Dear ____,

If nothing else, I'm glad to know that you did at one time have a good friend. I hope you find another. I hope you find a hobby, a purpose, a backbone, and at some point, YOURSELF. If I ever become a user, hopefully I can find someone like you that gives without any requirements for giving back.

You actually are a great person. I just hope you realize you're worth more than the bullshit you don't even ask to get paid for.


Dear ____,
In my darkest hour, on my worst day, in my last second...you will still not be 1/1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000th of the woman that I am. Stop trying.
Thanks for playing, though.


Dear ____,
If I pretend like you don't exist, will you disappear? You know how every once in awhile a normal person gets the chance to entertain a star? That's what happened to you. Your 15 minutes are way overdue-don't you have a life to pretend like you have?
COFFEE BREAK!


Dear ____,
You are a fine piece of meat, yes you are. But if I had to work with what you got-I'd leave your ass too. Your wife isn't a bitch-she's a damn patient woman, or a lesbian since she's basically bumping uglies with you.
ATTENTION PENIS...the rest of the body is at 33 yrs old...please catch up from 3 months!
Are you sure those kids are yours?


Dear ____,
Listen, I see through your tiny little disposition. You are a hater, tried and true, and I know what you really got going on. If I was jumping off with everyone that I could, I'd be insecure about my marriage, life, self, and everything else too. You can hate on me if it makes you feel better about the things that you do. But uh, I'm not married, not desperate, not ugly, not confused about who I am...so this might be a frustrating task for you.


Dear Reader,

Please don't think that I hate any one of these people. They have showed me things in themselves that I want to be sure I never take on for myself. They have showed me how ugly things can get when you are any one of these people, and I am so thankful for the lessons that they have shared by example. They can all change, they can all do better, they can all be better. But until they get there-they can't ever say they didn't get a shout out for the time period that they sucked at life!!