Posted here to slap you in yours!
THE RIGHT ONE
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And
second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual
basis before it's made on an emotional one."What about love? Shouldn't that be
the third? you ask. No, and I'll tell you why. "The heart is deceitful above all
things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).The heart is
willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally
and intelligently it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the
right direction: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of
life" (Proverbs 4:23)!Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from
God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.Dating exists
not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical
design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage.Friendship is two people
walking together in agreement and accountability, learning and growing
together.Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another
exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the
marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life
together after marriage.But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to
gather these facts.1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does
this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ?
Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as
well as another co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor.
It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential
spouse a member of the same family - the family of God?You need to have common
interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have
a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of
similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on
basic life issues.You have had like experiences in your background. Though there
is some truth to the idiom that opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better
together.Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and
your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time.Remember, women fall in
love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note
the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious,
take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the bus
and wait for the right one.2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The
man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship
will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.Scripture says: "He who
finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Proverbs
18:22).Note -who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time,
God has transported men and women across the world in order to put them
together.
At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and
he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his
mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not
need to strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out
because he's shy!Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly
want. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in
his life and be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he
is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not
interested.Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a
man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually
might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him because he first
loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't
need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself.You
need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust
me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any
time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit
pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man voices his
intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may
have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of
the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act
of submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to follow. They should love us
first. And they should lead the relationship .3. The man in your life should not
desire to move into your house, only into your heart . A man who prepares for
your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the
means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he
needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a
suitable lover for you.4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the
same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a
man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you
haven't seen yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be
hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot
forward. Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!5. Check
out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your
preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a
negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet say they
do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and
wife.6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut. Take
note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look
like his present family situation.7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you
see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships?
Problems in making commitments --including the job market? Mood swings? Is a
problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace responsibility or shirk it?
Does he keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments
look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give
yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will always
reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.8. Does this man have a
vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam
needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man
doesn't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do.
Is the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just
allow life to happen around him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be
a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want
to go in life.A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission
statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because
he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your
achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own life
is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever.Creating dependencies or
feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere
along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of
obligation he associates you with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his
identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and
leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem
you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has
ordained for you to complement.9. Complimentary. Do your talents and gifts
complement his? Do his gifts, compliment yours? What about your temperaments? Do
you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the
lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts
in an attractive and effective way?This is why knowing your purpose is so
important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping I
always consider the fabric, the fit and what I already have in my closet. Will
my next purchase be a complimentary addition to what I already have? If I find
that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new
outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. If the
man you meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself,
something is wrong.This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms
of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically?
Does your longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the
process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life
should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of you he is getting
ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel
unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for love,
is too expensive!God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only
materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be
richer in mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The
man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not
withdrawals .10. Does he have a healthy love and acceptance of himself? Make
sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has
made peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you. A
man's relationship with God is crucial here. His love for himself will only be
as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can impart. You
cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful
place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer relationship
with Christ.If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your
walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from
your commitment to God, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover
of your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a
ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit, when
the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the
world, your union will not be able to survive.So you decide. How much is your
life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what
you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and
decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes,
Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when He paid a ransom for His
bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man? Throughout the Biblical age,
men were willing to pay the cost for what they truly desired. The truth of the
matter is everyone knows that anything worth having, costs and no one gets a
ride in this life for free.Our prayer:Dear Heavenly Father God,I confess that I
have not always been as careful as I should've been with my heart. From time to
time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands. I
now commit my heart into Your hands for safekeeping. Please help me to stop
being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. As I learn to celebrate Your
love for me, let me learn from Your example what a bridegroom should really be
like. Help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me. As I embrace
You as the Lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of Your own heart.
As I rest in Your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach
me.
I ask that You take over this area of my life. Keep me from those You
know would hurt my heart. I invite You to set a hedge around me and keep me from
all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me
to the mate that You have selected for me. Grant me the discernment to recognize
him as he recognizes me. Cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men I
meet according to what I see. Help me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on
my own understanding. I know that you know what is best for me; therefore I
yield to Your choice. In Jesus' Name. Amen.Ladies this is something you should
definitely share with a friend, whether you are single or married... It is
something to think about, when you ask is "He" the one!
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