The Death of the Hater...

At the request of a very dear friend, we are going to have to put to death the term "HATER" and more specifically the saying "Let your haters be your motivators".

I concur...

Let's discuss...

If you are a person that can not stand to see other people do well and try to degrade them in any way possible and find some negativity in what they are doing-this used to be called hating.

Let's be real. You actually are not a hater! You are a pilgrim. Because in all actuality, what you have done is settled for the circumstances in your life. You have decided that instead of trying to get out of your settlement, you'll just make everything seem as pitiful as you. So hater has been retired-but no worries-you CAN MOVE off of Plymouth Rock!!

If you are a person that thinks that every man/woman isn't about anything and thus you find faults in all the men/women that the people around you have in their lives and point out all the bad things and REFUSE to celebrate the good things-this used to be called hating.

CONGRATS AGAIN! You are NOT a hater-you are lonely. Point. Blank. Period. Katt Williams said it best..."You need to find out what it is about YOU". I am 99.9% sure that the men/women in your life have very many things in common and the most common denominator is YOU. Why can I call you on this? Cause I have a knack for giving out passes to men that don't even deserve a spot on ANY team. I'm not judging you-all I'm saying is it might be time to start looking for something different. It might be time to stop thinking that nobody has anything to tell you and listen to them. It might be time to step out of your comfort zone and realize what you thought was good for you isn't good for anybody. If all your friends think every man/woman you bring around isn't good enough for you-they aren't judgmental. You are not judgmental ENOUGH.
Loneliness is not a permanent status-but it can be a permanent mentality-which will lead to a permanent status if you don't CHANGE that mentality.

And please note-I am practicing what I preach!

If you are a person that thinks that everybody you see is too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too tall, too short, not fashionable enough, not perky enough, too perky, etc. etc. etc. and you can NEVER find anything nice to say...this could be called Hater activity.

Truth of the matter is, you are not quick witted, you don't have a good sense of humor, you aren't funny...you are insecure. If there is never anything nice to be said about ANYBODY else-chances are you can't bear the reflection in your mirror. Don't get me wrong, we all have pointed a finger and laughed and giggled...but a lot of us can look at someone and say "WOW, HE/SHE has it going on!" If you can't do that...you're not a hater. You're insecure. And chances are, you are old enough to fix whatever it is about you that you don't like. Insecurity is not permanent, ugliness is. But there's makeup for the outside kind...the inside kind takes a spiritual makeover.

Now, for those of you "letting your haters be your motivators"...this is fine as long as you aren't saying it 100,000 times a day! As a matter of fact, if you've said it more than once this week-chances are they don't motivate you at all-they have you perplexed as to why they hate you in the first place. See definitions of lonely, insecure, and pilgrim above.

So let's stop calling each other "HATERS" and let's call it how it is. Chances are, nobody cares enough to hate you. The things that people see in you are only things that they first recognized in themself. We all just aren't honest enough to admit that.

When someone is negative about everything...I can call it out because I used to find it hard to find anything good about my life.

Thank God for grace.

When someone is complaining about relationship issues...I recognize that loneliness because I'll be the first one to tell you I have relationship/commitment/attachment ISSUES. I just don't let it control me as much as it used to.

I'm still working on me.

When someone can't see the beauty in someone else...I recognize that insecurity because I battled mine for years-I just didn't let those thoughts come out my mouth. I recognize it because I was successful in being able to cover up my insecurities with the other confidences I had in myself and realized that those were the things people always put down. And I realize they "hated" it in me, because they wanted it for themselves.

There is room for plenty of fabulous people.

At the end of the day-what people say about you shouldn't affect you unless you question the same things. In that case-pose the question and find a solution to your problem. Just because a million people think you are worth a million bucks doesn't mean you have a cent in the bank account of YOU.

So, death to the "HATER".

Look in the mirror and value YOU. What you see in other people that you don't like...how does your opinion change their life? And if deep down you have to open your mouth to say something bad about someone else to make yourself feel better...just try to be a better you. Forgive yourself, if you don't-nobody else can. Love yourself-if you don't-nobody else can. Nobody can love you any more than you love yourself. So, I know ya'll love me A LOT! Don't NOBODY love Monica more than Monica, except for Christ himself and thank God for his love, grace, AND mercy!! When you realize how much God loves you in SPITE of who you are, how can you not give him reverence in doing the same.

The world is a very big place...I can't be fabulous by myself and I am surely flawed. There's plenty of room for everybody that wants to enjoy the ride instead of complaining that your seatbelt is too tight!

Dedicated to the "YOU"s that know who they are. I love you guys!