Mean what you say!

While walking around the lake yesterday, I had an "experience" I guess I will call it.

Let me first explain the scenario. The lake is in a central area of town. The scenery is beautiful, as are most places in this area. However, it would be considered to be in a part of town where "questionable" activities often take place. I think I go to the lake because it gives me some rest from the chaos in my own head. Sometimes I laugh at what I see, sometimes I'm touched by what I see, but I'm almost always amused.

Everyday, there is a group of men who have gathered at the lake with their coolers at hand and bicycles parked nearby. They sit on a picnic table located between two trees and they play dominoes. Now I often am at the lake at various times of the day, and without fail-they are there. I've often been envious of the simplicity that their day to day lives must entail. Just an outside observation.

Everyday, there are dozens of kids on the playground. Seems that now that school has started it's usually a daycare group or something of the sort. Mixed in will be parents with their children. Either watching them play, or sitting and reading while they play. The site of this is sweet to me...then it makes my stomach turn...but I always just walk past it with a smile on my face. Someday.

Everyday there are couples either walking around the lake or sitting by the lake. It often makes me sad...but then I just pray that they have the kind of love I had. And I pray they appreciate it. Nothing like not knowing the worth of something until it's gone.

And everyday, there is me. Walking that mile and a half and pondering whatever it is that is in and around my mind that day. It allows me to exert my restlessness, nervousness, anxiety, sadness and whatever else I may be feeling.

Often while walking around the lake you will either walk past somebody or cross paths with somebody going the other way. To be honest, I'm usually so lost in my thoughts they don't get any recognition from me at all. However, when it's one of "us", I usually nod my head or say "how you doing?" in rhetoric because that's what we do.

Yesterday I was walking along deep in thought. A man approached me, and as I said "How you doing" he at the same time said "Good day to you, my sister". And because he said it so loud and my words were soft, he didn't hear me. I kept walking. He must have stopped and turned around. He said "I SAID Good day to you! You can't speak?!!" I kept on walking. I don't have time for buffoonery. And a couple moments passed by and he screamed "F**K YOU!". I laughed out loud.

I actually needed that laugh, and actually I needed that dissection of my thoughts so that I had something new to think about. The lake is a circle, so I wondered if I would cross his path again. But I didn't. I thought about him while walking. YOu know, how silly would he feel if he had known I did acknowledge him? And regardless of if I did or not, was it necessary to curse at me because I didn't repay his greeting?

It reminded me of a certain e-mail I should have never read. It reminded me of exactly what I said about the person that read that. You know, we never know WHOSE path we are crossing. When we offer a greeting to someone in passing, they just may really need that greeting. Maybe that person is looking for someone to really reach out to them and a simple "hello" will give them that uplift that they need. So to me, it is very important to mean what you say. And say it not because you expect something back, but because you really mean it. If you really mean to wish somebody a good day-say it, mean it, and then keep it moving!!

What if I had been really down and out and that last EFF YOU put me over the edge. How would that person feel if they knew that two words had caused somebody to take drastic action?

In this "events" of my life as of late-this has been a topic that resurfaces in my head. Not necessarily just saying things, but also doing them. In my opinion it is important to do and say the things that you mean because you want to, not because you expect something in return. Because really-if you don't get the things you expect back-you will be mad at the other person, but for what really? Because they couldn't read your mind and know what you expected back? I mean, if you really say and do things because you WANT to, I just think you have to believe you will receive that blessing back somewhere-but if you do things from YOUR heart because YOU want to-you shouldn't expect anything. You should feel good about doing what YOU want to do.

I wasn't largely affected by the man's words. I try not to let words hurt me. It gave me a good laugh actually. If my failure to return his greeting ruined his day...oh well. He shouldn't have depended on me or anybody else to give him what he needs.

Mean what you say.

Mean what you do.

And know that at the end of the day, if you don't-that other person may or may not care.

If you MEAN it, it shouldn't matter.